Jyunishi Comedy #119

At the end of Ch 118, Tohru had stopped Kyo telling him she had something to tell him, however, she'd been stopped short by his expression.

The truth behind Kyo's expression that held Tohru back from confessing her feelings is...!?

Kyo tells Tohru that he too had something he's been wanting to ask her for a while now. He goes on to tell her that if he was mistaken and imagining things, then she should feel free to laugh at him and play him for the fool as much as she liked.

Kyo: Do you

love me...?

[Those were the words that have been wanting to be expressed all this time...]

Upon hearing Kyo's question, Tohru blushes and Kyo flashing back over the various hints he'd had of her feelings remembers Momiji's words:

Momiji: But then

You can tell right?

Kyo: Are you stupid...

[A bad feeling

Proved to be right]

Kyo: I didn't think

You were this stupid.

The umbrella slides and hits the ground as Kyo asks Tohru "why", if she didn't love her mother, if that had been a lie, and if all of that was as though it "never existed". Unable to stand things he opens the door and goes outside, but Tohru follows after him in her bare feet.

Kyo thinks of his wish (from the career counselling chapters) of wanting to be with her for what time he had remaining, and wonders why he'd ever wished for such a thing if this was the result.

[If this

Is the result of that

It's too much.]

I don't want to say it

I don't want it known

I don't want to acknowledge it

But

[This is too much.]

Tohru asks Kyo to listen to her, but he interrupts her telling her she knows nothing. That she knew nothing of what he'd done.

Kyo can only think that Tohru thinking that she loves him was too sad, like a fool is pathetic. And as he apologises in his mind, he cries.

Kyo: She shouldn't have
Ended up dying...

In truth

Your... mother.

.........
Your mother

I

Knew her.

That day...

Kyo: That day, the day of the accident

I was standing
nearby

And recognized her right away...

Kyo thinks of how her profile and her hair colour were unchanged from when he'd met her in the past. Shortly after he'd been taken in by Shishou, he still didn't feel comfortable going straight home and would wander around after school. During that time, he met her.

Kyoko: What's with you

Kyo: *MI!?* (Yikes!)

!?

Kyoko: Despite being a kid, being orange
Natural? Is that natural?

Kyo: Wh-What's with you. It doesn't matter does it. Quit acting so friendly. I'll kill ya
*Grrr*

Kyoko: Aa

Jeez. This kid's so uncute!! He's cu~te!!

Kyo: C-
Whaddaya mean cute, hag!! Damn witch!!

Kyoko: The little brat said something! He said something!! He's CU~TE!!

Kyoko tells Kyo that he'll end up getting stolen away if he's not careful since he's so cute and tells him to go home. Afterall, his Mom was bound to be worried. Kyo retorts that he doesn't have one, and that she's dead. A bit taken aback, Kyoko asks about his father

Kyo: Who needs someone like that!! Die!
He too

Kyo: Thinks it'd be better if I died!!

Kyoko: .........

That's......

Lonely isn't it.

Kyo: .........
...

Y...
You, your hair
Is that real...?

Kyoko: Huh-? That's harsh*
It's dyed (*Actually in reference to Kyo calling her "omae" a rather rough/rude way of saying "you" in Japanese)

Call me "Kyoko"
I'm Honda Kyoko

Kyo: Eh
Our names are similar...

Kyoko: What's your name?

Kyo: ...I'm not saying

Arrow: For some reason doesn't like that their names are similar

Kyoko: Oh. I see.

Then you can be "Rascal". "Rascal"*

*"Jari" typically means gravel but is another word for a child (especially a child who observes at a theatre etc.)

Kyoko explained that her workplace was near where they'd met, and so every now and again, he went to see her. When he did, she talked to him about various things, about herself, Honda Kyoko, about Honda Katsuya, and also, about Tohru.

Kyo wondered what the daughter of someone like Kyoko would be like and, after seeing Tohru's photo, wondered how her voice sounded when she laughed.

Then one day, Kyo came across Kyoko in a panic. She explained that Tohru hadn't come home and that she'd been looking for her, but couldn't find her anywhere.

Kyo: Pull yourself together
I'll...

Without fail, I will find her...

You wait at home!
Without fail, I'll save her
I'll protect her!

A man's promise!!

[Why

Couldn't I fulfill it]

Despite trying his hardest looking everywhere, Kyo was unable to find Tohru when he's stopped by Kyoko calling his name. She'd been looking for him, told him that Tohru had been returned safely home and apologises for having put him through so much trouble looking for her.

Seeing the hat that Kyoko was holding, Kyo asks her about it and Kyoko explains that the kid who'd helped Tohru had apparently been wearing it. But when Kyoko asks Kyo if he recognised the hat

[I'd

Picked it out myself
And Shishou bought it for me

And it]

[Ended up in that guy's (Yuki's) hands]

Kyo: ...No

Anything that guy touches
Is no longer mine...

......
...That guy (Yuki)

*That guy* is a rotten guy...

A rotten guy who has everything
And is well loved
So why does he take other people's (things)...

Kyoko: --...But he helped Tohru out

Kyo: Even so, he's a rotten guy!!

He's a bad guy. I'd thought
To help her out...

[That guy (The rat) is more fortunate than the me (the cat)

So why does he have to interfere even here]

Kyoko: *That's*

how you want it right?

If a "rotten guy" wasn't there

It'd be a problem for yourself right?

Surprised by Kyoko's question, Kyo instead demands if Kyoko was taking his (Yuki's) side and that Kyo was in the wrong.

Kyoko: No

"Taking sides" or
"Right" or
"Wrong"
They aren't important.

Kyoko: It'd be a waste if you were to live your life
Worrying about that sort of thing

Afterall, you're such
A sweet,

Nice child.

Kyo: .........Wha-
What're you saying, you...

Traitor

Kyoko: Rascal

Kyo: The likes of you...
I don't know you guys any more

Kyoko: "Your promise"

Don't forget!

That had been the last time Kyo saw Kyoko. He'd felt loneliness as though being betrayed, embarrassed about not helping Tohru, and frustrated from having Yuki steal away what he was hoping to do. And sulking over that, had avoided ever seeing Kyoko again.

Now I can think of it as a childish thing to have done

Kyo then talks about how he saw her again that day and wondered if he should talk to her when a car, approaching at high speed entered his field of view heading for Tohru's mother. Realising that she was in danger, Kyo thought that he should pull her arm and hold her in his arms but...

Kyo: But

I'm

Not "human"

If I held her in my arms
I'd turn into a cat

My not being "human"

Would be discovered

Kyo tells Tohru that he'd let her mother die, and that if he'd pulled her to him, she wouldn't have been thrown so high, or gone through such a painful experience. That without doubt, she wouldn't have died.

Kyo: Even so, I
Put "myself" and your mother's "life" on a scale

And chose "myself"

I protected "myself"
Over a "life"

Over a life...!!

Kyo can only think of how he hates his being that way. That despite hating his being that way so much, thinking that it would be better if her weren't there, that it'd be better if he were to disappear, in the end he always protected himself, took the easy way out, and ran away. Always. And still even now.

Kyo then explains about his mother. That she too had been thrown in the air and died as Kyoko had, although it hadn't been from a car. His mother could give no excuse for having given birth to Kyo being as he was, and how his being so pitiful was very hard on her and that she couldn't stand being near him. And how, after crying so very much one day, she died on the next.

An accident?

But...

There was something akin to a suicide note

That evening too, she was heard arguing with her husband......

It's your fault!! Kyo!!

You forced her

You

You

Wrong

Wrong. It's not my fault.

It's not my fault

Wrong. Wrong. WRONG!!

[Give it up already]

Accept it already

I know already

You've been running all this time

Accept it already

Kyo: ...It's all

...My

Fault...

I

Stole it (her life)

I

Kyo: ...I

Let her die......

Banner: In order to protect his small "self", Kyo forsook something that can never be replaced. That regret weighs very heavily...

To be continued in Issue 2, Dec 19 release.