Jyunishi Comedy #109

And the story continues to develop around Tohru's character...

May 1 is the day that Honda Kyoko died, and this year, like last, Tohru and her friends plan to visit Kyoko's grave. However this year, Kyo tells Tohru that he won't be able to join them, which Tohru accepted as she always does and smiled.

Kyo realises however, that what he's doing is "running away" from things but he feels he no longer has the courage to face that grave surrounded by those people. Even so, he finds himself at the temple where Honda Kyoko's grave is and, remembering last year, wonders if they had another picnic in front of her grave. And he remembers Hana-chan asking him:

"Why"

"Do you feel such regret standing before that grave?"

Instead of visiting Kyoko, Kyo decides instead to go home when he suddenly realises that he hasn't visited his own mother's grave for quite some time. And he remembers going there with Shishou (perhaps during the funeral?) and Shishou telling him he should burn some incense for her.

Father: No doubt he can't come close because he has a guilty conscience?

Shishou: ...You shouldn't say such to a child.

Father: I'm saying it because he's a child.

Besides, he doesn't understand anyways.

[I do understand]

As he's leaving however, he encounters someone sitting by the road; Honda Grandpa. Grandpa remembers Kyo because of the colour of his hair from the time he and Yuki kidnapped Tohru back from her evil relatives. ^^

Grandpa starts to thank Kyo for taking care of Kyoko when he corrects himself and says Tohru. He also remarks that Kyo has really grown since that time and how kids really do grow up in no time fast. When Kyo asks him why he's sitting there though, it seems Grandpa has once again thrown out his back and is completely unable to move! However, he already called his family and is waiting for them to come pick him up.

Instead Grandpa realises that Kyo had likely come by to visit Kyoko and thanks him and asks if everything is alright with Kyoko - to which he again corrects himself and asks about Tohru. Kyo instead asks Grandpa if he always refers to Tohru as Kyoko, and remarks that it's in poor taste.

Grandpa: But

I wanted to maintain that tie

It didn't matter in what form;
That Kyoko-san
Had definitely been there.

I wanted to show
That proof.

If I didn't, that child, in that way

Looked like she would've broken.

...Although

That's not all

Along the way, Tohru-san
Surmised that but

...

That's not it

Grandpa: It was also for my own sake

I was also just lonely.

Everyone; everyone
Ends up leaving me behind

So, in some way

I wanted to hold onto that tie

Kyoko: Toto-san

Grandpa instead asks Kyo if he knows why Tohru speaks the way she does. Kyo hesitantly responds that he doesn't. Grandpa explains that it's Tohru's attempt to imitate her father, Katsuya. Apparently, at the funeral, certain relatives said something completely inappropriate

"She doesn't remotely resemble Katsuya."

"Maybe she's some other man's child"

"Her being like that won't make for any sort of consolation."

Grandpa wonders if they figured that a child wouldn't be able to understand what they spoke of and remarks that that is nonsense. Children are very capable of understanding adults; especially if something is well meant or said will ill-will.

He continues to explain how Tohru worried about the comments those relatives had made and how worried she was about Kyoko. Anyone could see that Kyoko, in her grief, became very haggard and it was impossible not to worry.

Tohru: Dad went somewhere very far away right?

Is Mom also going to go there?

Is Dad calling her?

'Cause she's always so sad

She won't talk to me.

Is she disappointed because I "don't resemble" Dad?

What can I do to become the same (as him)?

If I become the same as him, will Mom be happy?

She won't go anywhere?

Grandpa: After that
There's a time that Kyoko-san, for a long period... didn't come home

It's after that

Kyoko: "It was after that"

Kyoko: "That that child

Like Katsuya"

[That day

I finally understand

What had then remained unspoken.]

Kyoko: "I think, I've given

that child

many sad memories

...but"

"Even so, because that Tohru was there

Because she's supporting me... I can keep living

Even though the world doesn't need me

For the sakes of the people I need...

And the people who need me"

"I will live"

Kyo realises that Tohru's life all this time wasn't always fun. He remembers that there was one day, that Kyoko had to be away for the night because of work and so he decided to look in on Tohru.

[At that time, Tohru;

If you consider Tohru by herself as truly being her, then

That's right; to that extent]

[She felt so very lonely.]

Back at Shigure's Tohru, still wearing the dress she wore to visit Kyoko, is startled when she realises that Kyo is standing behind her as she was hanging the wash and comments that she hadn't realised he'd come home. Kyo tells her that he'd just come home and comments that she came home early too. Tohru explains that she'd heard it was supposed to rain in the evening but that it seems she needn't have worried and that she was glad; that she preferred to have nice weather on the anniversary of her Mom's death.

However, Kyo suddenly asks Tohru what her father was like and that she'd once commented that she didn't remember him that well. Tohru admits that she doesn't really resemble her father but that her manner of speech is supposed to be very similar. Even her mother said so. Kyo remarks that that must've been really nice however:

Tohru: It's

...A lie

It's a lie. There's
...no resemblance.

Because there's no resemblance,
I'm just

Mimicking his manner of speech...

.........

I-

I...
had

In truth

...

I'd thought

...Of my father

As

A villain......

Tohru: Even though

I definitely
remember

Even though it's vague, still
That he'd been kind; the things he gave me

Even though I remember properly

Even so

I'd

thought

Maybe he'd take Mom away

So I wanted to... get her attention

I wanted her to be with me

I wanted to keep her here

Tohru: ...Because I didn't want

To be left behind.

I wanted to reassure myself.
That I would do anything for that is

That I... so easily made my father the villain

.........
If it's for my own sake

That I would let go of any promise

.........
Is the absolute worst.

[How

Utterly foolish]

[No doubt

She'd thought about a lot

Wanting that she (her mother) not go

Not wanting to be left behind

Thought about that

Following the images she remembered of her father]

Katsuya: ...

Welcome home.

Did you enjoy yourself?

Tohru

[And

If the result of that guidance

Was off its mark
Or was ludicrous

Your obstinately continuing to do so

How very foolish that is

Your trying to hide
Your loneliness

So mercilessly blaming yourself

Is so very foolish

And so very dear]

(ed: to what extent can the 12shi get close to other people...? Who knows, but...)
At this point, Kyo grabs Tohru by the shoulders through the sheet to comfort her and tells her that without doubt, her mother understood. Despite all that, Tohru still in her own way managed to help Kyoko through her grief.

Tohru starts to try to apologise to Kyo for talking about something so depressing, but Kyo cuts her off telling her that it's okay. That she can go ahead and say as much as she wants. And that he won't be disillusioned by what she says. ^_^

Instead Kyo flashes back to the end of his conversation with Grandpa when he asks why Grandpa would tell him something so personal. Grandpa comments that it seems that Tohru is very important to Kyo and instead tells him he should probably get going because no doubt (she'll) be waiting for him to get back. As Kyo leaves however, Grandpa tells him that he hopes Kyo'll take good care of Tohru because Tohru's happiness is everyone's happiness. Kyo mutters that there's no point in telling him that (sic he can't do anything) and Grandpa can only say "I see" and smile.

At home, Tohru shows Kyo a picture of her father that lies behind her mother's photo in the photo-stand. Kyo tells her that it's very like her to have his photo afterall and realises that the look on Grandpa's face:

That teasing expression

Just a little

Made me think of Honda Katsuya

Banner: Kyo's gentleness wraps around Tohru's pain